our street once more

I haven't written about our street in a long time, but I don't know if you remember that Jen bought no. 83 (Will Self's old place) and had been living there quite happily until the rumours started that Brad 'n' Ange were going to move into the house that Brad 'n' Jen used to share. Anyway, Jen got very upset and made a few comments about what else 'that stupid slag' might want of hers and made plans to move out straight away. She told Gypsy Tart that much as she loves the neighbourhood, she doesn't want to hang around and see the 'happy family' parading round and showing off. We shall miss her, she's a nice girl and all the kids round here are very fond of her, as she never moans at them when their footballs hit her little Citroen C1.

Last Friday Jen moved on to a little flat in Hither Green (don't ask how she ended up buying a place there) and is very happy with it and the fact that she has her own off road allocated parking space. It is a nice place and she's not let her love of floral fabrics overwhelm the space. On Saturday, Brad, Ange, Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh and Pax moved in to his old two up two down. I have to say that we were all quite pleased to see Brad again as he's a nice chap and we have missed seeing him around. However, all the time he was chatting to us Ange didn't say a word, just pouted and clung to his arm while the kids ran riot.

So Sunday arrived and there's Brad out in the garden building some kind of altar. All Mr McMuffin could get out of him was that it was for Ange. When I said it was probably for practicing her dark arts, Mr McMuffin immediately sprang to her defence and went on about how misunderstood she is. And so it begins...next thing I know she'll have run off with him. Tart! So I did make some efforts to befriend her and spent half an hour listening to how great her 'rainbow' family are. When she found out that Babycake was born with a Mongolian blue spot and noticed his golden complexion, she obviously decided that he was sufficiently interesting and practically wrestled him off me.

By Sunday night, the neighbouring kids were calling her 'chitty chitty bang bang' as they said she was like the child snatcher. Monday morning we heard Ange calling the name 'Aleiki' and then noticed that there were five little kids with her in the garden. Next thing it's all gone crazy and there's Mrs Mhlanga slapping Ange stupid and grabbing little Mzili by the wrist and threatening to call the police. Brad smoothed things over and assured Mrs Mhlanga that he'd get Ange psychiatric help and took her inside and we heard them having a blazing row. I'd like to say that I offered help and support, but in reality I got straight on the phone to Jen and then the papers. Well what would you do?