how original

Mr McMuffin and I have become bored with our inability to book a holiday. On Monday we almost signed up for seven days in Florence and four in Rome, in luxury all the way, but I couldn't bring myself to spend almost two grand on a trip to Italy. Fortunately Mr McMuffin saw it my way and once more we are going to... Madeira! Yes, for a third of the price, we are having a week in Funchal and I have to say that I am reassured that our first venture outside dear old Blighty will be on such familiar territory.

babycake is a quiet baby

I was sitting outside this morning have a fag and cup of coffee when I heard a loud thud followed by Babycake screaming which was also followed by Mrs McMuffin calling for me to help. I rushed upstairs to find Babycake sobbing in his mother's arms. Apparently he had been exploring the bed around where Mrs McMuffin lay when he suddenly leapt kamakazi style over her legs head first off the bed onto the floor. Fortunately he seemed fine and quickly calmed down. Not a mark on him, as far as I can see, and he has been his usual self all day. I don't know why but this sort of stuff really frightens Mrs McMuffin, but I am much more laid back about it all. It just seems to me that we could drive ourselves nuts by worrying about him all the time. I am pretty sure that this is the first of many falls that he will have over the next few years. In fact, I don't know what I am saying, he has already fallen over a few time, and has the little scratches on his forehead to prove it.

god save the queen

Babycake and I went to the cinema this morning to see The Queen. I have to admit it was a little bit strange watching the film at 10am along with half a dozen other people and their babies. Babycake was wonderful and managed to sleep through the entire film, only waking as the final credits rolled. Who could ask for a better baby? The film was surprisingly good. I'm not sure what I expected, but by the end of it, I felt very sympathetic towards The Queen. Helen Mirren gives a fantastic performance, as usual. I think I would probably have been in the same state as HRH after Diana died, because I couldn't believe all that public mourning stuff either. Anyway, good film and well worth seeing.

if only i had £36,000

I have found the best gadget in the world, and I want one. U Boatworx make a personal submarine. It will dive to a depth of 50 metres, and you only need three days training to use one. I want one NOW. I don't think that is too much to ask for.

my hero

Mr McMuffin has been bloody marvellous in helping me with my report and I am very grateful. Three cheers for Mr McMuffin.

testing

Just testing this new online word processor.

self pity is so unattractive

I was going to remove the previous post, but seriously got so busy I didn't have time! Anyway, the sun is shining a little brighter as I've written most of the report and just have the all important recommendations to bang out. Mr McMuffin has been a brick and I'm feeling very much in love with the wonderful man I married, which means more than likely we'll have a huge flare up in about four hours time.

We broke our own rule yesterday and didn't post, but in our defence we did the thinking and posed Babycake to illustrate a little post we had in mind. Fortunately he's too young to mind at present, but I wonder how other people manage the shameless exploitation of their own children for comedic gain.

ol' red eyes is back

I am a bit frantic today, as the deadline for some work has been pushed forward and there's no way I can not keep to it, if I want to keep my job. In the past I would have taken this in my stride, put in a few late nights at the office or stayed up late working and finished the thing off. These days I am forced to face the day bright and early and be a bloody lark when I was born an owl.

The real problem is that I just can't adapt to writing in the morning and it takes me all day to get into my stride before I have to down tools and get home to relieve Mr McMuffin of his Babycake care responsibilities. Tonight I tried to recapture the ease of writing at night and have failed miserably. Although I have produced a reasonable amount of work in the last hour, I am squinting because it feels as if my eyes are full of crumbs and my fingers are tingling with fatigue. I am giving up and going to bed, hoping that poor Babycake's teeth will stop plaguing him so that he doesn't wake for half an hour every two hours throughout the night, like last night. Life has never been better, nor quite as tiring. Ying, Yang, equal and opposite and all that and goodnight.

little miss sunshine

Ms Gypsy Tart kindly looked after Babycake this afternoon so we could have some time together. We were tempted to spend some time giving each other special cuddles, but decided instead to go to the cinema. We went to see Little Miss Sunshine. We bought seats in the Gallery, which, for those of you who don't know, are very expensive seats at the back of the cinema. Basically they charge you a premium for a comfortable chair with some leg room. I always have to tamp down the embers of rage that I feel at the thought of paying extra for something I thought I had already paid for. Anyway, the film was fantastic. A very, very funny film. The whole cast are great, although I have to mark out Greg Kinnear and Steve Carrel for special mention though. There was one little problem though, I think our cinema audience was broken. While Mrs McMuffin and me laughed our heads off, it quickly became apparent that hardly anyone else in the cinema was laughing. What was that all about?

strange froggies indeed

Earlier in the year we promised some of our frogspawn to a neighbour, for her mother's pond. She then said she didn't actually want the spawn, but would take a few tadpoles when their back legs came through. We're still waiting to see those legs. In the meantime, these tadpoles are bloody enormous and swim around the pond looking like the creatures in Alien Resurresction and refusing to move out of the frog equivalent of early childhood. When we see our neighbour she is too polite to say anything to us about her request and I have to confess I'm not really sure how to broach the shameful subject of our mutant tadpoles, so nothing has been said.

Now, Babycake will be mobile next year, so we have to do something about the pond. I've always been reluctant to get rid of it and wanted to find a way to make it safe and keep the frogs. However, now we have freaks of nature living in our back garden, I'm not so sure.