jerry, jerry

I am just exhausted today after the full on sun and festivities of yesterday. Mr McMuffin and I are such typical novice parents in that we were so looking forward to going to the Sundae, that we insisted in getting there about an hour after it opened, to maximise our fun. Obviously this meant leaving early, but I still got to hear The Cutter twenty one years after I first heard the Bunnymen perform it live in '85.

Considering the tickets were so cheap, it was a good day out, but strangely lacking in atmosphere. I couldn't work out what was wrong and then it occurred to me that I couldn't smell drugs, there was no litter, no one vomiting in a corner, I couldn't see a single man pissing up against a fence and when the bands came on, I couldn't see anyone singing or appearing to enjoy themselves. Gypsy Cake said it was a little bit better down the front, but sadly that was too loud for Babycake, so we had to appreciate Ian McCulloch's continuing ability to hit and hold a note from the soulless section of the audience.

Jerry came to speak for a few minutes (Mr McMuffin says poor Ben was hoist on his own petard of full fat dairyness) and said a couple of things about corn starch water bottles. He seems very keen to save the world and I almost pledged to get rid of our fridge freezer, except we wouldn't be able to keep ice cream cold then and that would be a shame. A world without Cherry Garcia (full and low fat versions) is not a world I want to live in.

ben & jerry's sundae

We had a lovely day yesterday. The bands were all a bit nondescript, with the exception of Echo & The Bunnymen, who were great (we didn't stay to hear Badly Drawn Boy, but had good reports back about them too). The weather was scorching hot, and there was no shade. However, there was tons of good food (the hog roast rolls were particularly good) and a Pimms Bar, oh, and lots and lots of free ice cream. Babycake loved all the noise and attention. It really was a festival for people who no longer go to festivals. It was very, very clean and fantastically well organised. It was all very child friendly, and it made us feel good to notice that we didn't seem out of place amongst all those older parents with babies. I think we'll go again.

dockart

I found this very cool little app over at FreeMacWare. It puts the album cover art of the song currently playing in iTunes into the dock, replacing the iTunes icon. Like this. Very nice, but sadly only for those people with a Mac.

we're off then...

...to the Ben & Jerry's Sundae, a very civilised music festival with lots of free ice-cream. Who could ask for more?

so black you can almost smell it

I just drank a whole bottle of Coke Zero. None of that diet stuff for me. That's for wimps and girls.

about men and babies

I've noticed something interesting about the way in men interact with Babycake, and sadly that includes me. I wonder if all men do the same thing? Last night my brother took hold of Babycake and tried to entertain him by jiggling him around a little and making googoo noises into his face. Babycake seemed quite happy for a few seconds, but his bottom lip began to quiver and soon he was crying, as if he had been frightened. My brother-in-law, but don't tell him I said this, seems to have the same effect on Babycake. The baby seems happy enough to see him, in fact, he seems to find him really interesting and often makes a real effort to smile at him, but as soon as he picks him up and starts chatting to him, the baby starts to cry. Oh, I just remembered, my dad did the same thing to him when we visited Scotland a few months ago. He picked up the baby, who suddenly started crying.

All of these men seem to have in common a very real desire for Babycake to like them and be entertained by them, so I don't think for a second that anyone was doing anything deliberately horrible to him. What I do think, however, is that they were all driven by the urge to do something, absolutely anything to Babycake. They all held him too closely and chatted to him too quickly. I guess they just overwhelmed him. They didn't leave him any space to process what was going on so that he could arrive at some kind of response: a little smile, a gurlgle or an arm wave. In some ways, I think what I am talking about is a failure in empathic attunement. What seems to be missing is some capacity to just be with the baby and to allow the communication to gently unfold at Babycake's own pace. I don't think this is a failing in these particular men, rather it seems to be a failing, if that is the right word, in the way in which men are socialised. They must act, they do, they must have an impact on the world and other people.

This is very different from the way in which women are with Babycake. Although it is quite hard to talk about this without seeming to fall back on stereotypes. The women I have seen with Babycake, including Mrs McMuffin, seem to take things more slowly. They make some kind of communicative gesture and wait for a response before replying with another gesture. They seem to get the idea of the mutuality of communcation and interaction. Mrs McMuffin is the perfect example, of course, she never seems to feel the need to do anything with Babycake, she is often happy just to spend time with him allowing him to gaze into her eyes.

I'm glad to say that I haven't made him cry, but it did take me a couple months to be able to slow down the way in which I am with him, and to allow him some time so that he could join in, if he wanted to. I am still learning how to do this, and I sometimes catch myself just doing too much to him, rather than with him. This is still very much a work in progress. I'll let you know how we get on.

mighty mouse

I just got myself a lovely Apple Mighty Mouse. It's very expensive, but good. Just thought I'd say that.

a little update...

I have just got back from shopping at the all-night supermarket. I'm making dinner tomorrow for my mum, who has come down from Scotland to stay with my brother and his partner. This is the first time that my mum has ever been to my house. I should rephrase that. This is the first time that my mum has ever been to any house that I have lived in since I left home 27 years ago. I don't know what came over me. I popped down to have lunch with my brother earlier this week, and suddenly found myself inviting her to visit. I think it's Babycake's fault. In another fit of uncharacteristic thinking, the other day I almost, but didn't, phone Mrs McMuffin's parents and invite them over for lunch. It just seems important that I maintain these relationships for him. It never occured to me that this would be part of parenting.

These last couple of weeks looking after Babycake have flown by in a blur. I know find that I haven't sat in front of the computer for three days. Something unheard of in this house. It is very rewarding looking after the baby, but boy is it boring at times. I find that I have to take him for a walk to the local coffee house every day just so he falls asleep in the pram on the way there and I can have a cup of coffee and a fag in peace. Yes, you read that right, I have started smoking again. After a very successful couple of weeks, I gradually succumed to the dreaded weed. I have decided to go easy on myself. Today I decided that I have started smoking again, but I am stopping again on Monday. Hopefully it will stick this time.

Today, or rather yesterday, is/was our wedding anniversary. We have been married four years, although we've been together a lot longer than that. The funny thing is that we keep forgetting it, or getting the date wrong. This year was no different. Mrs McMuffin remembered it first. We had a bottle of beer to celebrate. We have been reminiscing about the wonderful day. It was easily the best day of my life so far. It was such a joyous day, and every time I think about it, I am reminded of how much I love Mrs McMuffin.

I've got to stop now and have a cup of tea before hitting the sack. G'night to you all.

just have to say something

I am grateful that Ms Ginger Cake is my neighbour and not Israel.

because he's lovely

discovery

Two very important discoveries were made yesterday. The first was by Mr McMuffin, who suddenly realised just how much he loved the little baby that has come to live with us. The second was by Babycake, who discovered his penis. He also worked out that if he fiddled with the aforementioned appendage and his scrotum, it felt quite nice. Yes, my little boy gave himself a stiffy, the first of many I imagine. He need never be bored when left to his own devices. I am so proud of him.

traitor

I came back home for lunch today and found a very happy Babycake. He was pleased to see me and my mammaries, but following his feed wanted to go to his Daddy. I hate to say it, but Mr McMuffin is a very organised parent and much better at the whole routine thing than I am. Of course I'll never tell him and advised him that Babycake was coping with the trauma of my leaving by clinging to him, it didn't mean that he loved him more and hummed the chorus of Love the one you're with just to hammer it home.

bittersweet

I left Babycake in the capable hands of Mr McMuffin and went off to work today with a big lump in my throat and tears prickling behind my eyes. It was great to see everyone again and have adult conversations without distraction and I didn't think I missed the boy too much. However, by lunch time I couldn't wait to see him and he was so pleased to see me it was sad. Sad, because he's never had to be pleased to see me before, I've always been around.

testing frenzy

I am posting this using the very interesting posting feature on the new Flock web browser.  It is really a revamped Firefox, I think.  It looks lovely and has lots of nice features.  Well worth checking out.  I am also in the process of testing the preview version of six apart's new community blogging thingy, called Vox.  Although, I'm not sure two people make much of a community.  Oh, and a big hi to my new neighbor, MackemSteve

I know this is a bit shallow, but it bothers me that neighbours is spelt wrong, and it would stop me using it in the end.  This sort of thing has happened before to me.

Blogged with Flock

congratulations

D & L looked lovely, and I managed to get a few minutes alone with them to take a couple of photos. They gave me permission to put one on the blog. We didn't attend the Register Office, but apparently when the ceremony was over, the Registrar offered her congratulations to the couple, at which point, D reached over and gave her a big kiss. The Registrar took this in good humour and kindly pointed out to her that she really should be kissing L.

We just want to wish them a long and happy life together.

today...

Pirates of The Caribbean was brilliant, as expected. Johhny Depp is wonderfully odd and Bill Nighy makes one of the best baddies that I have seen in a long time. Very creepy. The showing was very well attended. There seemed to be a lot of men there, certainly more than usual. I guess they must have taken the day off work to go the cinema, or something. It is amazing how you can filter out the screaming and moaning of 100 babies under a year to concentrate on a movie. Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing Superman Returns next week.

Oh by the way, a gently poached ripe peach is much sharper than you expect. Poor Babycake made a brave effort, screwing up his face with each mouthful. He is so trusting. If we give it to him it must be okay, so he kept trying. In the end he turned his head away and gave a disgusted yell. We got the message. Making food for the baby has reawakened our little taste buds.

birds do it, bees do it

This year I am happy to be celebrating something nice today and can't wait to show Babycake off at the party this evening.

We are returning to the Big Scream this morning to see the new Pirates film. Mr McMuffin has been looking forward to it for months, so it's quite an occasion for him. Bless.

even educated fleas do it...

Today is a special day for D & L, a couple of our friends. They are entering into a Civil Partnership together. I'm not sure how to talk about these arrangements, and I don't really understand the legalities of it all, but it seems like a wedding to me, and that's just lovely. I love weddings. We hope they have a fantastic day filled with good memories that will last them a lifetime together.

testing

Just testing the new feature post thingy from Typepad.

babycake, cineaste

Over the last few weeks, Babycake has been begging us to go to the cinema. Being fond and indulgent parents, we obliged and took him to The Big Scream. Babycake very much enjoyed Thank You for Smoking and showed his appreciation of The Cave of the Yellow Dog by sleeping all the way through. He missed out on a wonderful film.

I thought you might like to know that...

I have completed my first full week of fag free living. It's been difficult, but not half as difficult as I had expected. The physical stuff has completely gone and now all I am left with is the unexpected craving. I decided that today I would try to clear out our pantry. It has got into a bit of a mess, and Mrs McMuffin whinges about it on a regular basis, although she will not tidy it up. Anyway, I spent four hours on it. Every half hour or so, the uninvited thought pop into my head that maybe now would be a good time to have a fag. These thoughts are all the more strange because I am a non smoker. How odd.

it's over

As much as I dislike football, I loved the empty streets when England played. For that reason alone I wish England had won. Rock Cake told us last night that Wayne Rooney had deliberately kicked one of the opposition in the groin, for that I'm glad England lost.

oh my god...

I can't believe it is 03:45. We have had an improptu evening with Ms Gypsy Tart, Ms Ginger Cake and our immediate neighbours. Turns out that, even though he has lived here for about three years, he is a professional chef for one of the big hotels in London. Can't wait to pick his brains. We all had a lovely evening, although I did drink too much.

I am very proud of Ms Gypsy Tart and myself because despite all sorts of provocation we did not smoke. We did drink a little too much...but no smoking.