seasons greetings

A little Christmas card from the McMuffins. It's bloody typical though, we ask Gypsy Tart to take our photo and she still manages to get the palm tree to grow out of our heads.

nadolig llawen

For everybody celebrating Christmas this year, we McMuffins wish you a lovely time. If you're not celebrating Christmas, then too bad, you won't be getting any lovely presents. I'm sorry if you haven't got a card from us, we had hoped to send people e-cards of Mr McMuffin as Joseph and me as Mary (I never got to be Mary in school nativity plays and this year I kept hinting to the Head of the Infant's school in which my team was based that I was available, but she rejected my offer for a far less authentic child of approximately three foot in height, a veritable dwarf!) but we never got round to that either.

Anyway, we're at Gypsy Tart and Rock Cake's tomorrow for Christmas, then on Boxing Day we're off to see Mr McMuffin Jnr and the Beau and have another Christmas dinner. Then we're back home and I'm not moving too far away from it, just in case.

king kong

We went to see King Kong on Thursday morning. Believe the hype, it is a three hour plus bum numbing thirst making fag dying extravaganza. It looks fantastic and while some of the CGI seems to go for blurry speed rather than detail, you can believe in Kong because he has soulful eyes. For me the big let down with CGI has always been around the eyes. Who would care if the creature had the most realistic hair in the world if his eyes were flat and lifeless. The big surprise for me though was Naomi Watts. Quite apart from the fact that she is much more beautiful than I remembered, she creates a emotional resonance for Ann Darrow that stays with you after the film has ended.

I won't give away the end of the film, but it is probably enough to say that it doesn't end well. Both Mrs McMuffin and I had to dry our damp eyes before heading off into the thronging crowds of Bluewater to complete our Christmas shopping.

This is a great entertainment and well worth the investment of a sizeable chunk of your life. Go and see it now.

I would give this film 4/5.

civil partnerships

I think these are the beginning of a good thing, but I still don't understand why a whole new class of legal relationship had to be created, for the sake of simplicity and equality why not just extend civil marriage? Anyway, congratulations to everyone who entered into a civil partnership today, may your partnerships be happy and enduring.

thankfully

These children lived. However, despite Social Services never having been told about these children, I bet they still get blamed in the public imagination and no Health or Education workers get disciplined. I suppose we'll just have to see.

i just knew it...

It official (at least as far as I am concerned) chocolate really is good for you. They've done research and everything.

a rude awakening...

*Warning* This post contains scenes of urinating cats, mild peril and fantasy violence.

I might as well get straight to the point. Slinky woke me up this morning by spraying in my face. For a second or two it felt nice and warm and the thought crossed my mind that he was being unbearably cute again, and was licking my face. But no, he was peeing on me. There had been no big build up. Usually when he sprays in front of us, or on us, as he has done to me a couple of times now, we, or that should probably be me, have been ignoring his cries for attention. This morning he just jumped up on the bed stood on my chest and let rip. It worked, because I got up pretty quickly. The darling cat was waiting on the landing and danced ahead of me as I trudged downstairs. He had a few mouthfuls of food, went outside for a pee, then dashed back upstairs to sleep with Mrs McMuffin in our pee soaked bed. He didn't seem in the least bit distressed and he already had some food, I think Mrs McMuffin had got up in the night to feed him.

I have absolutely no idea why he did it, or what he wanted. The unconscious is an amazing thing, even little catty ones. I imagine he is very worried about what will happen to him once the baby is born. Will he still have a place in our hearts? The only problem is, of course, is that his behaviour forces us to exclude him from our lives, making his worst fears come true. It's like he is trying to force us to choose between him or the new baby. I must admit, until he peed on my face, I wasn't sure which way I was going to go.

Mrs McMuffin here to correct the impression that Mr McMuffin gave of me lying in a cat pee soaked bed this morning. Au contraire, the bed was stripped immediately and everything has been washed. I think it's important for the world to know my standards haven't dropped!

this is incredible...

I mentioned that I had got a Sonic Impact Class T-Amp a while ago. I have been playing with it over the last couple of days. What can I say, other than this is an absolutely amazing little machine. I have never been particularly interested in stereos. I just want them to go a bit loud and sound okay. I've managed the last 15 years with my Nad 3020i amp. This £15 amp is easily the equal of that one. I'm afraid I don't have the audiophiles obsession with describing the sound I hear, so all I can say is, even at this early stage before the amp has been properly broken in, the sound is wide and crystal clear, the bass is punchy (giving AC/DC's Back in Black a great crunch). Given the price, it's hard to find anything to criticise, although I will try. It will hardly come as any surprise to you if I tell you that it is a horrible plasticky thing with really cheap fixtures, so you might be tempted like me to try and fit it into a better looking box. How hard can that be? The good news, and there is more good news, is that it is tiny and you can hide it very easily. Here is a picture of it next to my 30Gb iPod.

right then...

...I'm done moaning, agonising and going on and on about things. From now on I have banned all baby related introspection. Not all baby related thoughts will disappear though, it may interest you to know that I still haven't decided whether Mr McMuffin or Gypsy Tart gets the choice task of scooping my poo from the birthing pool. My midwife says women don't actually poo that much, if they poo at all, but I rather like the idea of having one of them on alert. The pool is just part of the the natural approach I plan to take. I suspect this plan will only last until the first contraction hits, then I'll be shouting for a lift to the hospital and an epidural.

Mr McMuffin is trying to upgrade our stereo from his classic kit, to something a little smaller that actually works. He is in love with the £15 amp he bought and no doubt will write about it soon. I caught him trying to take it apart last night, but I warned him that the miniaturised monkeys that make it work would escape, so he's left it well alone now. I have to wonder if it's only got to be a priority as he couldn't cope with having poor quality sound at high volume to drown out my screams of agony. I have to say though, Back in Black has never sounded so good.

We're braving the crowds today and going christmas shopping. Mr McMuffin only has a couple of extra presents to get, whereas I've got to do the whole lot. I'm very tempted just to get another herd of goats, or maybe a nice lttle toilet block, but as I said before, he's not that middle class.

epic

"I would give all my presents for you, but of course it would tear at my heart"

Sounds like something from a Jim Steinman/Meatloaf epic, but no, they were Mr McMuffin's exact words to Slinky less than five minutes ago. I tell you, that cat has too big a place in our lives.