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pain
Sometimes I wonder where the notion that women are cooperative and not competetive comes from. It's been my experience that while women may support each other in lots of different ways, when it comes to womanly type ordeals, sisterly solidarity can desert us.
I'll never forget the glee of the older or more mature girls when they talked about how lucky I would be to survive the monthly period hell that consisted of practically bleeding to death and wanting to die from the excruciating pain. Well, I started menstruating and was surprised to find that it was bearable. As it happens, I suffered a lot more than most women I know (except for my poor sisters) but mustn't grumble, it's got a lot better over the years and now I'm pregnant I don't even suffer menstrual migraine, hurrah!
So back to the whole pregnancy thing (obsessed? Moi? No, no, no). I am not carrying a sign inviting women to tell me about their near death birth experiences, so I wonder why they are so desperate to try to scare the shit out of me. I've laid down some boundaries, such as no one is to whimper or moan around me if they have more than one child, as they clearly too stupid to respect, having failed to learn from experience. In fact I don't want them to tell me anything, unless it's as useful as the comments from my friends, family and the parents among the small number of people who read this blog.
I probably sound like a miserable cow, but the whole thing is so terrifying, why would I need more fear? I'm not really that frightened of the pain, more of things going wrong and that's something the scary sisters never want to share unless they come through it martyred and with terrible war wounds to prove it.
mrs mcmuffin on 20 Jul 2005 @ 08:57 PM ✲ Permalink
Comments
Well said! I always say that pregnancy and wisdom teeth bring out the horror stories and that the advantage with wisdom teeth is that you can keep it a secret...pregnancy shows. Maybe you can get a button that says, "If you have a horror story to share, tell Wes Craven"
Posted by: Karan | 20 Jul 2005 21:59:58
Don't the little sprogs sometimes just plop out, after a minimal amount of huffing and puffing?
And if not: I wonder if laxatives would help.
Posted by: David (TEFL Smiler) | 20 Jul 2005 23:48:53
You are so right to tune (most) all the other women out regarding childbirth. It's a skill you'll need after the baby is born, at playdates, shopping for schools, etc. Other moms will make you crazy if you let them.
Aside from that, it's a wonderful sorority.
Posted by: Donna | 21 Jul 2005 04:58:17
I shan't defend the prophetesses of doom, but if my wife's experience is any indication (I think it is), the body's responses to childbirth include wiping large portions of the detailed memory away. That may explain why there is even a second birth when the first is difficult. But that doesn't explain / excuse moaning about it after the fact.
My wife had a fairly hard time with her first birth, and remembers very little of it. She had done a lot of prep to minimize pain but as it turned out, what she experienced was not what she expected. She planned the second birth around avoiding the problems of the first -- so there's some sign of learning behaviour? (it worked out much more easily the second time)
David: there are some women who have the children drop out quickly, but not often the first. Elasticity suffers. You can connect the dots I think.
Posted by: Colin | 21 Jul 2005 05:13:11
I didn't mean to suggest for a minute that childbirth is not going to be nasty and yucky, but for my sanity I can't listen to worst of the tales. I am confident that modern drugs will assist, although not eradicate in the process!
I think what I'm trying to get at is there are many women wh have had a horrible time of it all, but are not motivated to frighten other women. They'll either give a realistic account of their ordeals (with the reassuring: but of course it won't be like that for you) or say very little unless asked. My big sister is a good example of someone who has not tried to frighten me, but be realistic and I rather like my Mum's style-when asked for her opinion on the whole thing, she described it as not being very 'nice'!
Anyway i'm going to find out for myself, but it does seem a bit silly to dwell on the horror of a couple of days when the rest of our lives will change so dramatically.
ps Colin is right. I know someone who had the easiest births ever but has paid for it by her bladder being completely messed up and wetting herself evry time she sneezes, laughs, anything really...
Posted by: mrs mcmuffin | 21 Jul 2005 08:09:27
Sounds like men going on about what a horror it was to install new software on their computers. Mind you, a new programme is nothing compared to the earthshattering, mindnumbingly beautiful experience of holding your own baby. No, not even on a Mac, Mr McMuffin.
Posted by: David.2 | 21 Jul 2005 10:13:34
The best part about labor and childbirth is: It has a begining and an ending. It's not as fun as a day at the races, but, they give you this cute little bundle at the end that you get to keep. I just figured that a few hours of my time was worth it for my kid. And I was right.
Posted by: Maribeth | 21 Jul 2005 19:15:14
Don't be scared.
You've got so much hidden strenghth inside yourself that you'll be surprised.
And you'll be prepared when the day comes, promise.
Posted by: Ella | 21 Jul 2005 21:16:04
