sometimes you have to go looking for that silver lining

I am aware that I have not been my cheerful self for some time. I'd like to blame it on the winter, but rather than suffering from SAD, I'm more of a sad act. Still, there are things to find humour in, if you really want to and right now I really want to.

Mr McMuffin and I haven't blogged about the visit last weekend from the not so evil Middle Brother McMuffin and his partner. This is probably because it was a bit of a disaster, thanks to MB McMuffin consuming large quantities of alcohol and becoming a bad drunk. Despite the rest of us trying to keep things under control, MB McMuffin wasn't happy until he had gone through the hectoring stage of drunkeness, followed by the self pitying sobs required for the final stage. Somewhere between the hectoring and the sobbing, I had to try very hard to keep a straight face and not laugh out loud. The conversation went something like this:

Middle Brother McM: (very slurred) I'll never tell you what the rest of the family say about you.
Me: (perkily) That's probably a good thing. I don't mind what they say, as long as I never hear it!
MB McM: (in tones of sincerity) Well, I'm not going to say anything. I've always got on really well with you. I don't think you're a snob or that you look down on the rest of us. I've always liked you and thought you were good for my brother. I think you've got good judgement.
Me: (playing it straight) Thanks, that's nice of you and I'm relieved you didn't tell me what the others think of me.
MB McM: That's alright, I didn't want to upset you.

This weekend, Mr McMuffin has been a good housekeeper and hoovered downstairs. I lugged the hoover upstairs and started to vacuum the landing. All of a sudden it was as if I'd found myself in one of those awful smoking areas at airports, the stench was overwhelming. I went downstairs to change the hoover bag and have a little chat with Mr McMuffin.

Me: Did you do something stupid with the hoover?
Mr McM: (looking guilty and making me wonder what other stupid things he does with hoovers) What? What's wrong?
Me: Did you hoover something up that you should have thrown in the bin?
Mr McM: No, it wasn't me. I couldn't stop him.
Me: Who? Oh, Dear God, you're not going to blame the cat again, are you?
Mr McM: But it was Slinky. He wanted to help me clean up. I told him not to clean the ashtray with the vacuum cleaner.
Me: So you expect me to believe it was Slinky?
Mr McM: Well, I didn't want to grass him up, because he said he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. He only wanted to help.
Me: Um, well OK then.

well i never

You are Miss Piggy.
You are talented and the center of attention. At
least you'd like to think you are. You're
really just a pig.

FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS:
"Moi", "Moi" and
"Moi!"

LAST BOOK READ:
"Women Who Run With Frogs And The Frogs Who
Better Wise Up Quick"

FAVORITE MOVIE:
"To Have and Have More"

DRESS SIZE:
If it's expensive, it fits.

BEST FEATURES:
Eyes, eyebrows, eyelashes, nose, cheeks, hair,
ears, neck, shoulders, arms, elbows, hands,
fingers, legs, knees, ankles, feet, toes and so
on and so forth.

SPECIAL ABILITIES:
Singing, Dancing, Directing, Producing, Writing,
Starring, and Being Famous.


What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Mmm...

You are Kermit the Frog.
You are reliable, responsible and caring. And you
have a habit of waving your arms about
maniacally.

FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS:
"Hi ho!" "Yaaay!" and
"Sheesh!"

FAVORITE MOVIE:
"How Green Was My Mother"

LAST BOOK READ:
"Surfin' the Webfoot: A Frog's Guide to the
Internet"

HOBBIES:
Sitting in the swamp playing banjo.

QUOTE:
"Hmm, my banjo is wet."


What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Mmm...

You are Kermit the Frog.
You are reliable, responsible and caring. And you
have a habit of waving your arms about
maniacally.

FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS:
"Hi ho!" "Yaaay!" and
"Sheesh!"

FAVORITE MOVIE:
"How Green Was My Mother"

LAST BOOK READ:
"Surfin' the Webfoot: A Frog's Guide to the
Internet"

HOBBIES:
Sitting in the swamp playing banjo.

QUOTE:
"Hmm, my banjo is wet."


What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

cube zero

Third and final film of the evening was Cube Zero, the third installment in the Cube saga. I really like these films. They just retell the same story but it is an entertaining one. I'd give this 7/10.

sky captain and the world of tomorrow

For goodness sake, this was brilliant. We really enjoyed it. Yes, it was a "technological wonder", but more importantly it was a ripping yarn, except for that bit in Nepal which slackened the pace. And maybe next time he can write his own script rather than plundering every decent adventure film made over the last 30 years. Anyway, I'd give it 8/10.

hero

We just watched Hero. Wow! Why didn't we go and see it at the cinema? Mrs McMuffin says that we were being anti-social and wouldn't go with Mr Rock Cake and Ms Gypsy Tart. We regret that now.

communicatting

I think I have finally captured the essence of Slinky's capacity for communication. He has trained us well. We can now recognise the subtle vocal inflections that carry so much meaning. Here are a few examples of Slinky talk:

Food, food, I think I am fading away with hunger. Why won't you feed me now
I have eaten now and I want you to lie on the couch so that I can sit on your chest and sniff your breath
I have eaten now and I want you to go to bed so that I can get into bed with you
Open the back door now, I need a pee
Open the back door now, I need a poo
Open the back door now, just because
Oh woe is me
Get up now, my food needs stirring

we need something new

I've been thinking a lot recently about the way in which I buy and use music. By the way, I am sitting here in my dressing gown drinking my fourth cup of coffee and listening to Rufus Wainwright's new album Want Two. I've been up since 6am, because that evil f**king cat insists on getting me up so that I can stir up the food in his bowl. He doesn't like it when it looks a bit dry. A quick stir and he is happily munching away. I can't remember the last time I woke up at my own pace.

Now, back to the topic. I have realised that since I digitalised my music collection that I no longer want to buy single songs or even single albums. When I discover an artist new to me, I want to download everything that they have ever recorded. In the end, I sometimes discard some of it, but I still want to have a listen to it first. I don't imagine that I am alone in this. The thing is I can't quite understand why digital downloads of music are not cheaper? Even the wonderful iTunes Store can charge £9.99 for a virtual album. I can sort of understand that new music can be costly to produce and that the record companies need to recoup this by charging a higher price, but what about older music from their back catalogues? Why am I charged the same for an album that is 20 years old as an album that was released last week? The cost of producing the older album has already been recouped many times over. I know that there is a cost involved in transfering the music into a digital format, but it's not as if we are being offered rare albums that have not already been transfered onto CD. I transfer music from CDs onto my computer all the time. It may be a bit naive of me to suggest that the record companies are only doing the same on a slightly larger scale. Most of the music that we can buy on the internet has not been remastered for downloading. It's the same music that we can buy on CD. So why are we paying almost the same price as that for a physical CD?

It seems to me that we are up against the greed of the five big record companies that make up the RIAA. They still dream of a golden age when they made huge profits from children willing to give them all of their available cash for a three minute pop song. Having gone through a slump, these companies seem to think that they have found a new way to make money from us. Why are we allowing them to do this?

Why should we pay these huge sums of money for old music, delivered without packaging, lyrics, artwork, or any of the other stuff that made buying a new album a bit of an event when we were younger?

Basically, I want a way of downloading older music cheaply. I want to be able to hear entire back catalogues and I would be willing to pay for this. Although I don't think I should have to pay more than, say around £2 for an album. Does this sound unreasonable?

third and final film

The US version of The Grudge was pretty scary and came close to recreating the original film but for some reason they left out one of the scariest scenes in any movie ever. Why did they do that? Anyway, well worth seeing. I'd give it 8/10. If you are going to see it, why not just watch the original Japanese film?