why does sleep hate me?

I can't even blame it on the combination of Mr McMuffin and Slink who conspired to keep me awake the other night through judicious use of speaking in tongues (Mr McMuffin's stunning ability to speak Farsi when unconscious), little catty dream twitches and growls (that would be the Slinking one) and heavy arms casually flung over my frail torso (bit of both of them). I can't even blame it on concern for the victims of the tsunami, or my worries about the health of an employee. No, saddened as I am, only the trivia of my own life makes for sleeplessness. As I'm awake though, I'd like to wish everyone a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda and Pob Hwyl in 2005. May it be a happier and more peaceful year than the last.

green day

How could I have missed Green Day for all these years? For some very strange reason I have completely ignored everything good I have ever heard about Green Day. I don't know what I thought they were about, but I had some unthought idea that they were...you, know, American PUNK, the kind of band that plays everything with a cod-reggae beat. I was wrong, they are a very excellent straight, head-down, rock band. They wear their influences on their sleeve, but in a good way. The Ramones are the first band that come to mind, but I certainly can hear a lot of UK glam in those beats (they have a very good drummer), and oddly enough a little bit of Jam. Mr Rock Cake just happened to mention them the other day, and I thought I'd have a listen to American Idiot. I've been listening to nothing else for the last three days, and I've downloaded all their albums. It's all very sad, really. Mrs McMuffin keeps making monging faces at me (an old boyfriend of hers used to be into them), and I just know her 14 years old neice would do the same if she ever found out.

PS Steve, if you don't already know them (I seem to be the only person who doesn't) I'm sure you will love them.

i not stupid

It was deliberate. She is a pleb who doesn't appreciate avant garde design. That's my story and I'm sticking to it until I sort the mess out tomorrow.

epitome of stupidity again

When will Mr McMuffin learn not to act hastily? When will he realise that the template he's designing for Ms Ginger Cake should not be published on our site?

bye bye christmas

Christmas is done. We had lovely food and presents, including a totally unexpected gift of paintballing (to be taken at our convenience) from Ms Victoria Sponge, who delighted us once more by sharing the day with us. I have always wanted to go paintballing and considered it for my 'hen night' celebrations until Gypsy Tart wisely pointed out that large bruises would not be a good look for my wedding day unless I could match them to the bouquet.

After my parents went home, we settled into the serious matter of competetive games. Ms Ginger Cake deserves a special mention here for her skills at Articulate, we never realised that Trotsky was a Russian composer before. As we all began to complain of tiredness we realised that it was almost two in the morning and probably a good time to break up the party. We shall reconvene on New Year's Eve for cocktails.

Yesterday was the laziest day I've spent in a long time and neither Mr McMuffin nor I bothered to get dressed. Perfect. I read, watched tv and ate too much again. Slinky was in cat heaven and couldn't work out which of us he really wanted to drape himself over for the day, so he roused himself hourly to move to another lap.

I am heading off to the seaside today with Single Cookie and Gypsy Tart to stay overnight with a friend with no cake name. Mr McMuffin politely declined the invitation so I offered to stay at home to keep him company. The look of horror on his face told me that what he really wanted was to be left alone to recuperate and watch all the DVD's that I hate. Sometimes the joy of spending time with loved ones can be too much of a good thing.

more wyoming

On the 20.12.04 some kind person from Riverton, Wyoming, extended the hand of friendship to the McMuffins. They only stayed for 53 seconds, probably just enough time to read the interesting bits of our blog, and certainly enough time to save Wyoming/McMuffins relations forever. I am please to formally announce that full diplomatic relations with Wyoming has been reestablished.

This means that we have been visited by every state in America. Hurrah!

it's christmas time...

Steve has posted a lovely photo of their Christmas tree, and I thought I would do the same. The little black block on the mantlepiece covers up a photo of McMuffin loveliness. Even though it is Christmas, that just seemed like too much undiluted loveliness for us to ask you to stomach. By the way, the blue picture leaning against the wall, is a strange dog or maybe a goat thing lying down by a river...maybe.

Nadolig Llawen i Chi

I'm sure that everyone celebrating Christmas are very busy at the moment, as are we, but I think it's important to take time out to reflect on the meaning of Christmas. I think it's important, obviously, but I'm not going to bother. Oh no, I'm too busy buying rubbish presents, wrapping up said rubbish presents and trying to clean rubbish house (thanks for your hoovering skills, Gypsy Tart). It does all look rather nice though.

Mr McMuffin has been busy cooking all day, in preparation for the lunch tomorrow and he has also managed to knock out our traditional Christmas Eve dinner. He's a demon in an apron, well he would be if he wore one. Sadly, the ebay woman has been too busy to send his present to us, but not too busy to take the money. Let's all wish her and the boiler men a warm Merry Christmas and let's hope that they get everything they deserve in the New Year.

For you lovely people reading this, a heartfelt Season's Greetings to you.

wish i could skive

However, the work ethic seems to be hard wired. I am so excited to be off work for five days, although I've got to buy presents tomorrow for everyone and clean the flipping house again. Why can't it just stay clean? Our current boiler and job woes have put my job in perspective and I was quite happy to be in today despite every bloody agency wanting to send us a referral 'just in case'. Ha ha, I put it all back to them and made them take responsibility. I am mean bitch manager these days and I like it.

I am quite excited about Christmas. I've loved every year I've spent with Mr McMuffin and am so proud of the way he works so hard to ensure that everyone has fabulous food and a good time. Let's hope that we don't get my Dad drunk again and hear the crash as he falls over. I realise that as I age I have inherited my parents poor capacity for alcohol tolerance, but at least I don't sweat like a pig after a pint like my poor Daddy. That takes two and I like to think my incoherence is rather charming and offsets the sweat.

Evil update: Mr McMuffin has just described himself as the 'epitomy of stupidity' for putting butter in its FOIL wrapper in the microwave to soften it. It was a fabulous display. I want to do it again, but we can't keep replacing the appliances in Chateau McMuffin, that really would be stupid. By the way I just can't work out how to mock Mr McMuffin's reference to 'properly hung beef' without being too rude, but it's a challenge that will keep me occupied for some time.

who knows what he's on about...

I don't want to brag but I've done all of my Christmas shopping. That is, I've done all of my food shopping and all of my present buying! Please don't be jealous. I'm sure if you had just been sacked you would have skived off as much as I have. Although, having said that, I was at the butcher's shop the morning at 7.45am to collect the turkey. The butcher is a friend of ours. He's the husband of a lovely woman I used to boss around, in a very nice way, of course. We have talked about him before. It was he who gave us our first taste of real, properly hung beef, and now we can't eat supermarket muck anymore.

You know, I've even done some of the cooking. Our pathetic little cooker wouldn't allow me to cook everything on the day. I've made the canapes, the bread sauce, the cranberry sauce and the parsnip mash. I froze them. I love freezers, they are so cool. I still have a lot of cooking to do tomorrow. I just hope Mrs McMufffin realises that, and doesn't expect me to be cleaning too.

Time to place myself in situ. I am sitting at the computer drinking Cointreau. I bought a new bottle, just in case, and there was only a little bit in the old bottle, so I thought I should drink it. I've also drank the best part of half-a-bottle of wine. I feel very pleasantly buzzy. I am sitting here listing to Mary Chapin Carpenter. She has a very pleasant voice. Reminds me a lot of Michelle Shocked, actually. Good grief, I am now playing Anchorage by Michelle Shocked. They could be the same singer. That is spooky.

This is just one big ramble, so I am going to stop now.