assaulted i was

A client assaulted me the other day. I have been working with people now for 20 odd years, and some of them have been seriously messed up, but yet not one of them has ever tried to hit me. In fact, that's not really true, I was kicked on the sole of my shoe once by a 16 year old boy. He was attempting to provoke me by spraying me with a water pistol, and when I could stand it no more, I jumped up from my chair. I think this gave him more of a scare than he had expected. I suppose he thought I was going to beat him up or something. After he had kicked me and jumped on the waste paper bin, he very quickly calmed down. Believe it or not, I apologised for scaring him, and he apologised for provoking me. He managed to push the bin back into shape, and all was well with the world.

Anyway, I had this meeting with this couple the other day. It lasted no more than five minutes. By the end of it the woman had grabbed me by the throat and threatened "you better watch it, you get yours." Fortunately her paranoid schizophrenic heroin using husband was a bit more together than she was, and he was able to intervene. He pulled her off me and ushered her through the door. The amazing thing about all of this is that just before she leapt on me, she said to her husband, "I don't know why you're bothering, he's not listening to a word you say." Now, without going into all the details, the truth is, although I will deny this to my dying day, I was just thinking, "why the fuck do I have to listen to this? I don't know why I bother."

I didn't bother reporting her to the police. I reckoned that she had enough problems at the moment, and she didn't do me any physical harm. However, I think the real reason I didn't contact the police is that I was feeling too guilty at having provoked her. Although, how was I to know that she was telepathic?

all good things

I have to start the new job on Monday and I have decided that I actually don't want to do this work any more. I want to travel the world by train (first class, of course) looking into other people's back gardens and get paid lots of money to do so. I would also publish a book full of blurry photos taken from the train with short comments, such as 'back garden in Slovakia, you can see chickens'. I might get off the train every now and then to collect new descriptions of cheesy bugs and have a nice meal.

Since Mr McMuffin and I don't have private incomes or a rich benefactor (where are you, I know you're out there) this probably won't happen, but it would be nice if it could. Mr McMuffin is busy redesigning our blog and jolly smart it looks too. I initially thought it was a bit garish, but have been converted by Mr McMuffin's enthusiasm. Us McMuffins are embracing colour in a big way. Mr McMuffin's hoping to unveil it for our first blogiversary, if he can sort out the blogdemon in time.

This is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time, via Spanglemonkey. This kind of thing actually makes me want to have children.

more joys of roy

The Flaming Cheeto has introduced me to the joys of Roy in Clingfilm. This is one of the oddest things I have ever read on the internet, and I've read some strange things over the years. I suppose the most disturbing aspect of the whole project is that there are links to other people writing about it too. It must be infectious because I have been sitting here thinking about publishing my own story. This is just too weird. On second thoughts, if you want to maintain your peace of mind, I wouldn't click on that link. If I was you, I'd have a look at this instead.

so cultured, again

Mr McMuffin didn't seem too interested when I suggested that we go to the cinema tonight, until I told him what I wanted to see. Amazing how the promise of action, big explosions and low quality science fiction can raise his enthusiasm levels all the way up to 11. Yes, and I have no shame in revealing this, we went to see Alien Versus Predator. Fittingly, I have finished The Tenant of Wildfell Hall and am reading a book by Harlan Coben. Much like the film it is utter poo, but good poo.

millionhair soon

I can't believe how rich this little scheme is going to make me. My single hair is now worth 51p. That means that the hairs on my head and beard are now worth about £66,300. I am slightly perturbed to find that Mr Steven Tilly is so desparate to have a little bit of me that he has resorted to bidding against himself. I hope this isn't the start of an unhealthy obsession with all things McMuffin, although it probably means that there is a market for my toenail clippings after all. Joking aside, I am a little bit worried because he knows where I live.

new terror

Who would have thought that danger was lurking on the outside of every fridge? As the list of harmful things approaches infinity, I have found something new to fear, take note of this warning.

On a more reassuring note, this chocolate is gorgeous. Didn't think I'd like it, but I did. Worth every penny and a lot of pennies it was too.

Strange as it sounds, I haven't quite recovered from hearing about John Peel. I've been thinking about him all day and how important a part of my teenage years he was. The first time I heard Hand In Glove was on his show. I was surprised that Ms Ginger Cake was sad too, but it makes perfect sense-who else was playing reggae on a national radio way back when? More recently, I enjoyed listening to Home Truths and I know he would have understood my obsession with cheesy bugs. The saddest thing for me is that my neice will be fourteen in a few weeks, the same age I was when I used to listen to him all the time and she'll never have the excitement of 'discovering' his show for herself.

say it ain't so

I was just checking Steve's blog to see whether he had found any other interesting British predators and was shocked to find out that John Peel has died. If you don't know John Peel, then it's hard to explain how much he'll be missed.

finally, i am rich

My eBay auction is going very well. The single hair that I am selling has received four bids so far, and is now worth 26p. A man has an average of 100,000 hairs on their head and about 30,000 on their face, that means that I stand to make about £36,800 from selling all my hair, and that doesn't include the more exotic hair, for which I will charge a premium, of course. The great thing about this is that once I have plucked every hair from my body, it will grow back in a couple of weeks and I can start all over again. Why didn't I think of this before?

second chance

We have a wonderful grapevine growing around the garden and every year I intend to harvest the grapes and produce a batch of Chateau McMuffin. Every year I fail to do this. As it's such a gorgeous day, I thought I would venture outside and look at the state of the garden. The garden is a mossy, cat poo mess, but there were a few bunches of glossy black grapes hanging from the nearly leafless vine. I managed to pick a couple of pounds and they are now being divested of little spiders and ladybirds. As I am not terribly interested in doing anything that doesn't show immediate results, I think I'll freeze them and then hand them over to my Dad to process. He is very good at doing this and made the best blackberry wine ever, from our harvestings one year. I blame the house, actually. I'm sure if I lived in a lovely little cottage again, I would find the time to make my own bread, jam, pickles, wine, rear ducks and have a well stocked herb garden. Yes, it's definitely the house.

I was quite impressed with this show on channel 4. I don't want to name it in case we get a load of porn spam. It kept me interested and dealt straighforwardly with the subject matter without a hint of prurience. I'm also enjoying The Long Way Round as I always fancied doing a big tour when I was a biker. I am amazed that Charley Boorman is no longer the pretty thing in The Emerald Forest, but all grown up and not terribly attractive. Ewan McGregor is pretty as always, even with ginger stubble.

things i have realised over the weekend

Leaving your team is very sad, but if you didn't leave, then you would miss out on the lovely Bodum gifts.

Mr McMuffin junior has become the biggest cheese in his company and we are very proud of him.

Telling Mr McM jnr that he will not get you really drunk (as usual) will be seen as a challenge and you will lose.

Your hair really does have a mind of its own and it is not a sane mind.

To do lists are instruments of the Devil and should be destroyed with the appropriate ceremony.

Slinky does not like to be abandoned at the weekend and this manifests itself by his unwillingness to be more than a metre away from us on our return and the need to remind us loudly of his presence at all times.

brotherhood of the wolf

I have just watched the fantastic Brotherhood of The Wolf (2001) again. It's a big budget fantasy/horror/kung fu type thing. It stars the very, very beautiful Monica Bellucci, who was in The Matrix, if you remember, and the equally beautiful Mark Dacascos. The film is set in 17th Century France, where the countryside is being terrorised by The Beast. The scene is set for a courtly gentleman and his Mohawk bloodbrother to kick some ass. This should have been a huge hit all over the world, but unfortunately it's in French, and we all know what the plebs are like about subtitles. Of course, I know this does not apply to the good and gentle reader of our blog, so get out there and hire this film. It will do you good.

top barnet again

I did have my hair cut yesterday and it is rather good. Even Mr McMuffin likes it, which is amazing. I hadn't realised until this week how little he likes the way I make myself look. Obviously, he was very reluctant to have any discussion about my clothes and hair, but after much encouragement and questioning, revealed that basically the only clothes I own that he unreservedly likes are my jeans. All I can say is that he is a good man for lying every time I ask him if I look alright. So back to the hair, I had another 6" cut off and more layers than you can shake a stick at. The real test will be what it looks like after I have washed it, so I may have to retract some of the praise.

I went to this strange conference today which meant doing the commute into town. I really don't regret not having to travel through central London any more, but it was nice to nip into the Tate and look at the nominations for the Turner Prize. I liked his work best, but not that much. I don't know why I didn't go and see the Gwen and Augustus John exhibition, as I'd been quite keen on seeing it, but I think I was just desperate to get home and have a rest before my official leaving do tonight. I'm not really looking forward to it as it makes the whole new job thing real, but I suppose I've got to move on.

I forgot to mention that I think I saw Mark Lawson at the Tate. I wasn't sure, as this man was huge (although he looks only about 5" tall on telly), but Mr McMuffin knew for some reason that Mr Lawson is a man mountain, so I suppose it was him. I didn't say hello, but he didn't seem that impressed.

a little bit of me...

It has taken a while, but I have now joined eBay. I am usually very technically minded, but for some reason eBay just seemed complicated. Well, today I found a great new program called GarageSale, which is an eBay certificated client (Mac only!). Basically, the program makes starting auctions very, very easy. I have posted my very first auction. You can find it here. Now, lets get that money rolling in.

trackback spam again and food and films

Oh bugger, Mrs McMuffin has done it again. Her unhealthy interest in buying men over the internet appears to have unleashed a torrent of trackback spam. I made my annual visit to her parents this evening, and when we returned we had 28 emails. I got a bit excited for a minute...well really only for a few seconds...until I realised that they were all from trackback porn scum spammers (Mrs McMuffin challenges you to say this more than twice without getting in a tizz). I have now closed all trackback and email notification of trackback too. And I have deleted the emails too. I was concerned that Mrs McMuffin, who was beginning to foam at the mouth, intended to spend the rest of her evening banning the IP addresses of the phantom spammers. I know what of I speak. She has done this before.

I'm off to have some sushi bought from Waitrose and to watch the US version of The Ring again. I have ended up with a vegi version of sushi because that was all they had. I am having to eat this because Mrs McMuffin, who has cooked us dinner the last four nights, will not shut up about how much cooking she does. Oh, and she keeps talking about what a good cook she is becoming after gaining so much experience of cooking over the last few days. She also reckons that it is unnatural for a woman to spend that much time in the kitchen. I have to confess that the food hasn't been bad, apart from how mean she is with the seasoning.

PS Mrs McMuffin has suddenly become very concerned about my predilection for starting sentences with And and Although, but I don't care. I am a rebel report writer and ain't noone ever gonna change me.

PPS Picked at random from a Google search: The Sassy Lawyer's Journal appears to have similar concerns.

lazy days

This morning I decided to completely ignore my to do list and just do nothing except read. Unfortunately I've run out of books, so I took a stroll into town to get a few. For some reason our town is a paradise for market researchers and I always feel a bit sorry for them, having done a stint when I was a student. I was particularly enamoured of the researcher who asked if I fell into a particular age bracket. I just smirked and said, I wish. It was a creative ploy, as I felt so well disposed towards her that I sat for over half an hour going through what appeared to be a survey commissioned by Expedia. I was also able to check all the qualification boxes, which is some satisfaction for having spent so many years not earning any money and living in a rundown heap.

Feeling good about myself, I returned home to take on the difficult task of making a hair appointment. Now I'm as comfortable as is humanly possible with making difficult calls to parents in my work and pretty much anything, but I am terrified of making appointments with hairdressers, dentists and garages. I am proud to say that I am now the owner of a double booking with the style director at a good salon. We'll see exactly how good they are on Thursday afternoon by how many glasses of wine I need to drink when it's done.

I couldn't make a booking for Gypsy Tart, Ginger Cake and I to have the treatments we wanted at the spa, so I'll just have to have another day off in a few weeks. That sounds so good, doesn't it? I could really get used to this, but I don't think I'll ever be able to give up work and fill my days with 'me me me' activities unless we get a rich benefactor. You must be out there somewhere, find us. I'll even throw in Mr McMuffin for an Indecent Proposal style deal and I promise I won't think he's dirty afterwards.

grubbiness is the new clean

Thankyou so much, Loretta for your wise words: Shabby Chic/Shabby Clutter/Shabby Dirt. It's a new movement. I am going to be at the forefront of fashion for once in my life.

so cultured

There are so many films that we want to see at the cinema, that I thought McMuffin and I might have an argument about what to watch. It was surprisingly simple to decide as we both wanted to see...wait for it...Resident Evil II. Not as good as the first, but Milla is still fabulous and becoming more and more like Ripley, in a rather downmarket way.

We saw the trailer for The Grudge, which bears the legend 'inspired by Ju-On'. Inspired? This pretty much looks like a frame by frame copy, not that this is a bad thing at all, but give credit where it's due. I'm hoping that they won't do a Vanishing and change the ending to make it happier.

Anyway, today is the beginning of my two weeks off, although I have to attend a conference on Friday. All I seem to have done so far is housework and fall asleep ridiculously early. I'm not very good at relaxing and have a whole list of things to do. The trouble is that I tend to decide that I've taken on too much and then not do any of it, as I just get put off by the impossibility of it all. What a perfect excuse for idleness I've just made, I am brilliant as well as lazy.

mail order husband part deux

Thanks to the kind commenter, E for pointing me in this direction. Move over Mr McMuffin, you have real competition from men who love 'the nature' and have strange, staring eyes.

now and then

One of the pleasures of watching older films is seeing how much plastic surgery film star types have. We watched 'The Juror' tonight and I was struck by how much better Demi Moore and Anne Heche look now than they did then. I'd never seen this film before and it's really not that good, but it's definitely worth a look just to see how time runs backwards for these women. They must have high security attics to stash their portraits in. I've never been in our attic (spiders, obviously) but I suspect my portrait is ridiculously youthful. Not really fair, is it?

breaking up is hard to do

I have mixed feelings about my time with the team I have worked for. It's been hard work, but they are good people and I shall miss working with them. I have been on the verge of tears today and am going to try not to sob like a little boy tomorrow. I have been a bit sneaky and arranged a joint leaving do next week, so that I can leave in bits and pieces and also share the limelight. I am grateful to Ms Ginger Cake for her cooperation with this plan.

I think I'm going to miss working with Ms Ginger Cake the most. We have been really lucky to have been such good friends as well as workmates and she always organises my lunch. In fact, after being congratulated on our new jobs, the second thing people say is how much they think we shall miss working with each other. I think that when I achieve my retirement plan of being a mad old cat lady living in a caravan with my sister, I shall invite Ms Ginger Cake to join us.

I found something very interesting at Roxanne's blog, from guest blogger Tas. Go and have a look and think about signing up, if you're not from the US and would like to do your part in the elections.

wheatus

Who remembers Wheatus' song Teenage Dirtbag? It was a huge hit a few years ago. A great song, but what you probably don't realise is Brendan B. Brown, the fella behind that song also produced one of the best power pop albums of recent years. The album is called Hand Over Your Loved Ones. This isn't an album of disposable pop songs for young kids, it's filled with real songs with lyrics about heartache and disappointment and all tinged with a bitter black humour. The seriousness of the songs are honey coated in sweet harmonies and singalong choruses, but don't let that fool you. Here are a couple of tracks for you to sample. The first is Fair Weather Friend and the second is Lemonade. If I could play a musical instrument and knew how to write songs, then I'd want to have written Lemonade.

we are most thrilled

We have just seen the most thrilling thriller I have seen in ages. It's called Highwaymen, and stars the wonderful Jim Caveziel before he became The Christ. I won't go into what it is about, mainly because it is a bit silly, but believe me it will have you sitting on the edge of your seat with your heart in your mouth within a few minutes. There is at least one scene in it, which is the equal of Steven Spielberg's quality stuff, I won't tell you what happens, but it takes place in a tunnel, and marks the director as a talent to watch. It's only an hour and a quarter long, so take the risk, and I'm sure you'll not be disappointed.

Update: Forget all that talent to watch nonesense. The film was directed by Robert Harmon who made The Hitcher in 1986, a very scary and most thrilling film. In fact, I recently bought another copy of it when it was released remastered on DVD.

penblwydd hapus i gypsy tart

Happy Birthday to my little sister. Sadly we are not celebrating in Barcelona this year. The scenery here is not as nice as it was there, but the accommodation is a lot better.

i am great...part II

As you can see I have mastered the trick of placing a rectangle with rounded corners on our site. It may not sound like much of an achievement but I have been working on this for months. It has involved gaining some mastery (ha!) of CSS. The next version of our site is going to look very cool.

gone all serious

So back to the banal. While Mr McMuffin has been thinking deep thoughts, I have mostly been going to the V&A and helping England win yesterday's match, by being forced to watch part of it. I tried to warn people that Wales lose if I watch them, but no one listened.

On my return Mr McMuffin had made a lovely meal for Mr McMuffin Jnr and his beau and we got pretty drunk. Well, I did and foolishly decided to demonstrate how to headbang. I can hardly move my neck now, so I suspect that will be my last performance ever. Should have filmed it, it was magnificent.

So I now have five days left at work, two weeks of leave and then I start the new job. I am a bit frightened of the responsibility and being really bad at it. I suppose that's not a bad thing, but it's not that pleasant.

is this odd, or what?

This Fish posted an interesting item on 07.10.04 (she doesn't seem to have permalinks to her posts, but it shouldn't be difficult to find) called project gene the marine. I was going to comment on it, but thought a post might be in order instead.

Please take note: I'm a man, not a red-bloodied US male, for sure, but a man, nonetheless. If I ever go to war, which I hope is never, and if I am ever wounded, which again, I hope is never, please, please, ladies don't send me any emails or pictures of youselves. I don't care how attractive you think you are. Why, oh why, would I want emails and pictures from complete strangers? People that mean nothing to me. There is a serious issue here about manly men and their need for female company. It is not too far a stretch for this to include the idea that men need to have sex...with any passing female, whether they consent to it or not. And we all know about the terrible things that are done to women by men during wars. Think about this stuff before you go off on a patriotic frenzy of emailing. There really is nothing patriotic about sending a picture of yourself to a complete stranger. What are you offering to them? Are you suggesting, "here is my picture to wank over." It's all just a little bit odd.

an appeal on behalf of the please don't vote for george because he scares me party...

We try to keep away from politics on this site, but I need to say something to all our American readers. PLEASE do not vote for George W Bush on 2 November. I don't know much about US home politics, but I see the impact the US has had on the rest of the world over the last few years, and things definitely seem less safe since that man became President. If I am being truthful though, that man just offends me. I think I was one of the few people in the world who thought Forrest Gump was a terrible film. The idea that there is some kind of merit in not being very bright simply offends me. The idea that someone like GWB could become President offends me. Sure, I am sophisticated enough to understand that a lot of spin goes into making him look foolish, and I really don't care about whether he fought for your country or my country or whatever, what bothers me is that much of the evidence for his lack of brights comes out of his own mouth. I have never forgotten the sight of an American audience laughing AT GWB during an interview because of the inanities that were coming out of his mouth. I never thought I would see the day when Americans would laugh at the President. GWB certainly appears to have a significant learning difficulty. I don't want someone like that running the most powerful country in the world. I suppose the really scary bit about all of this is that if he isn't running the US, and he certainly doesn't seem to have the capacities to do that easily, then who is?

Look, I can appreciate the attraction of a leader who is able to make complex situations seem simple and straightforward. I think I would want that in a leader too, but only if I was fairly confident that they really did understand the complexities of the situation too. I am just not sure that GWB does.

I am not even advocating for John Kerry, but at least he just seems like your usual run of the mill bright, experienced, politician, the kind of person who seems to have the qualities you would expect to find in the leader of any country. I know that he has that unfortunate jaw and the nose, which will just keep getting bigger as he gets older (the nose is one of the few parts of your body that keeps growing throughout your life!) but at least he is the kind of person who can string a sensible sentence together. Please don't think of a vote for Kerry as a vote for Kerry, rather think of it as a vote against GWB.

Click here for an excellent, if a little biased, summary of the results of the Bush-Kerry debate.

john who?

I just saw John Taylor on the Jonathon Ross show. Since when has he been a double for Robert Kilroy-Silk?

top barnet

Ms Gypsy Tart has has her hair cut and coloured by the salon director at a top London salon. He also put some highlights in. She is disappointed, mine are so much better than his. Career change indicated I think. I'm not too much of a snob to tell people that I used to be a Social Services manager but am a hairdresser now. Oh wait...I am. Usually too snobby to say I work for the council that is.

A second snippet for you:

We have finished our pasta and had some warm bread and a pat of butter to go with it. I am moving the dirty plates to the kitchen.

Mrs McM: I'm taking the plates, can you take the bread and the butter?
Mr McM: No, you take it all. Take the butter.
Mrs McM: Stupid, it's too much for me to carry.
Mr McM: F**cking lazy butter b*tch.

Cue sound of hysterical laughter.

Almost as funny as when a kid I looked after called me a spasticated nappy. Bless him, he was so upset and all I could do was run into another room and almost wet myself laughing.

the grudge...

...or Ju-on is a very scary film. I am very tired, but am too fearful to go near our staircase, so am avoiding going upstairs to bed. I don't think it's as terrifying as Dark Water but is easily as frightening as The Ring. I don't want to see any more Japanese horror films with scary children and unhappy endings. If you haven't seen it, then don't. You'll sleep better.

a snippet...

I shall set the scene. I am playing on the computer while Mrs McMuffin sits next to me leafing through the latest edition of the BBC Good Food magazine. Slink is yowling in the background. He has had his dinner and has retired to the hallway where he makes the most ungodly racket in a bid to persuade us to go to bed so that he can have a little after dinner nap.

Mrs McM: why doesn't Oz Clarke just come out and say that he's gay? [reading an article in Good Food]
Mr McM: I didn't know he was gay...what makes you think that?
Mrs McM: oh, it's all those coy references to 'we'.
Mr McM: let me have a look at his kitchen then...[looks at pictures of kitchen]...oh, he is gay...
Mrs McM: why'd you say that?
Mr McM: look at all that chrome
Mrs McM: oh, yes...

Our next conversation solved the problems in the middle east, but I was only half listening so I can't really remember how we did it.

nolives II

Well we saw the last episode and now have to wait a year for the next one on DVD. Mr McMuffin has rented Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and I am happily annoying him by nodding wisely when he looks a bit confused and telling him that he's missing all the clues to what's going on. It makes him nervous when I know more something than him, but I think he should just get used to it.

nomates and nolives

I am amazed that I have had the time to work and do things at the weekend, as over the last week, Mr McMuffin and I have watched 23 episodes of The West Wing and are about to watch the 24th right now. Don't tell us what happens.

28 days...

...are all I have left before I start the new job I got flipping months ago. Before I start I am going to:

Get my hair cut

Go to 'Bliss' and spa like a fool (Last year's Christmas present from Mr McMuffin and I have looked forward to using it all year. So much so, that I actually haven't used it)

Locate my smarter clothes and organise my wardrobe

Sort the front garden out and decorate the hallway

See my GP and kill evil bug (it is not my friend, even though it has lived with me for about three months now)

Buy Christmas presents (I have never managed to get organised, ever)

See my parents (bad daughter)

there's a worm in my apple...

I am devastated. I thought I was special. I thought Apple loved me, and only me. They sent me this email today:

Dear .Mac Member,

You recently received an email that stated an incorrect storage increase amount for your .Mac account. The correct information is as follows:

Every full .Mac membership now comes with 250 MB of combined .Mac Mail and iDisk storage. Because we appreciate your past purchase of additional storage, we have increased your total storage to 1 GB for the duration of your current membership.

We regret any confusion the earlier email may have caused. We value your membership and hope you enjoy this enhancement to your .Mac service.

Sincerely,

The Mac Team

There is no way I am going to have Steve's babies now.

don't be a pathetic, gibbering wreck...

...Mr McMuffin. Grow up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Not everyone is going to like you. In fact hardly anyone does except me and I'm a bit strange like that. Actually, even I don't like you that much now I come to think about it.

mr and mrs mcmuffin nomates

I don't know what it is about us, but even people who haven't met us don't like us. Why has Steve's wife taken against us? It's a mystery to us too. She looked at the blogs that Steve visits and said that she thought that Kirsty seemed quite nice, but she didn't even mention us. I can't believe that she didn't mention our loveliness once. She must really hate us. Mrs Carrots, we have met Kirsty, take my word for it she is not as lovely as we are. Sorry, I have to stop now. I am just too upset.

friday night ipod shuffle 7

It's that time of the week again. Time again for the Friday night iPod shuffle, and once again I am predictable in my Neilness. The truth is that I don't really listen to him all the time, it's more that I have him on the iPod just in case I need him. By the way, those lovely people at Apple have increased the storage available on my iDisk, I am pretty sure that it was just my iDisk they increased, to 1GB! That's a 500% increase. Apple are lovely, lovely people. I would have Steve's baby, if it wasn't so unnatural and a sin against God and Man, oh, and biologically impossible. Mrs McMuffin is very disturbed by that last bit.

I have just listened to the whole list of ten songs, and I am really impressed by how well they play together. I thought I would allow you to download Nick Lowe, because it is important that we all remember just how good Nick is. Cruel to be Kind is a perfect pop song. If you have somehow missed it over the years, you are in for a treat.

01. Bad Dream Mama / Eagles of Death Metal 3:02
02. The Big Beat / Fats Domino 1:58
03. Cruel To Be Kind / Nick Lowe 3:28
04. No Blue Sky / The Thorns 4:38
05. Punk Love / The Magnetic Fields 0:58
06. Would You... ? / Touch & Go 3:13
07. Lullabye / Ben Folds Five 3:53
08. Sister Disco / The Who 4:21
09. Stringman / Neil Young 4:02
10. Step Off / Missy Elliott 3:58