look...

Mrs McMuffin is useless. It wasn't that hard. Look, I made a workng time machine during my lunch hour this afternoon. For those of you who want to emulate my work, I found Bill Bryson's book invaluable. I have sent back a hamster, a cheese sandwich, and a packet of salt and vinegar crisps, to 1976. They have all returned none the worse for wear. Mrs McMuffin will not consent to being a subject of my temporal experiments, but it is for the good of all mankind. Therefore, later tonight when she has dozed off in front of the television, I intend to use my time machine to send her back to 1982. I am torn. Does the end justify the means?

News: Mrs McMuffin is missing. Mr McMuffin says: I have no idea when she has gone, one minute she was sleeping in front of the TV and the next she was gone. The Police are appealing for anyone who has knowledge of her whereabouts to come forward.