slink will not be a guest blogger

I thought it would be a great idea to get Slink to be a guest blogger. For a few seconds it was such fun watching him chase the picture around the screen, and then suddenly, without warning, out came the killer claws and he tried to scratch his way through the screen. For all you cat lovers out there, cats claws and LCD screens do not mix. It is not natural for cats to make guest posts on your weblog. I don't mean that in a weirdly fundamentalist Christian kind of way. While he is pretty good at walking over the keyboard, he can't actually spell. Fortunately, for us, he didn't do any damage, but it was still a little bit scary.

this is my first post oooeeerrrr

This is my first post, how exciting what's a girl to do. If I won Miss World I would want world peace and a daily supply of chocolate for the rest of my life. My favourite artist is Jackson and I love science fiction. The Stones will always rock.

[This is the first post from one of the several people we invited to be guest bloggers with us at the beginning of our blogging career. Unfortunately, or perhaps that should be fortunately, none of them could work out how to do it.]

I only just found out

Black Books is back. Good.

Our lovely neighbour just came round to ask us to look after Slinky next week as she's got a late deal on a holiday. I had to confess he practically lived with us. She seemed really alright about it. I'm just waiting for the brick.

the truth about cats and dogs

I have to take some credit for opening Mr McMuffin's eyes to the loveliness of cats. He used to identify himself as a 'dog man", but since the advent of Slink is clear that cats are clever, loyal and funny.

I do like dogs a lot and was always upset that we weren't allowed one as children. My Mum managed to persuade us that it was cruel to keep a dog in a (large) suburban garden, as they really needed the freedom of the wilds of Wales. As a result I had to live vicariously through my relatives and friends. I have to say I am bloody good with them. Give me an 'uncontrollable' dog that doesn't have a brain injury, and I will sort it out with firm boundaries and loving attention. Now if only I was that patient with people. I am being harassed by emails at work urging me to complete an evaluation of the training I suffered. I really don't know how to say abysmal and inducing self harm in a helpful way.

the difference between cats and dogs

This is the funniest thing I have read in ages. You can find out about the difference between cats and dogs here

i forgot to mention...

I forgot to mention that I got my first ever piece of porn spam yesterday. I was shocked and deleted it immediately, of course. In fact, I bounced it back, so I am hoping that they won't bother me again. I have been online for about five years now and this is the first time I have received anything like this. I have been incredibly careful about which boxes I tick and where I leave my email address. However, within three months of signing up to Typepad, I am now getting porn spam. Is the true price of the using the wonderful Typepad really that I must accept porn spam?

but I didn't inhale...

...thanks, dear husband. You've made me out to be some kind of junky loon! I would like to point out that drugs and Mrs McMuffin don't go together. However, I do confess to making a very few bad choices when I was much younger. That would be the CD of course.

So much for my resolution to embrace training. Today was pure torture. I developed itchy, scratchy, swelling eyes, and sneezed lots. I thought I was allergic to the training, but I suspect it was early arrival hayfever as there's tree pollen out already.

To make the day complete, Mr McMuffin is being a big baby about going out tonight. He's wailing that he doesn't want to because he's tired, it's too cold (we're not bloody walking!) and he wants to eat chicken. I would normally tell him to shut up and stay in, but he's really got to be there. I now feel responsible for forcing him to go-how on earth did that happen?

random music

We have been inspired by Steve over at Eat Your Carrots. The challenge is to put your entire music collection on random and list the first 20 songs that come up. You cannot edit the list to get rid of the less cool music.

This is our list:

54 : Mint Royale
Say you will : Foreigner
Springsville : Miles Davis & Quincy Jones
Jeepster : Marc Bolan & T-Rex
Teardrop : Massive Attack
I'll keep it with mine : Bob Dylan
Astronomic : The Young Gods
I can't win : Ry Cooder
My favourite mistake : Sheryl Crowe
Get back : Beatles
Round here : Counting Crows
Hewlett's daughter : Grandaddy
Laughing gas : Nilon bombers
Heartbreak hotel : Elvis Presley
Strange : Alabama 3
No way out : Peter Gabriel
Buck Rogers : Feeder
The bright young things : Marilyn Manson
Punch up at a wedding : Radiohead
Wailing wall : Todd Rundgren

I had no idea that we were so cool. Apart from Foreigner and The Young Gods. I must tell you that Mrs McMuffin bought The Young Gods CD many years ago after suffering from drug induced psychosis at a popular music festival. When she got home and listened to her newly acquired record, she vowed never to do drugs again, and she hasn't. As a little coda to this sorry tale, The Young Gods most recent album received good reviews in the UK press! It is clear from this that Mrs McMuffin was able to spot the potential of this band at a very early stage in their development. Nevertheless, the album we have is truly dreadful!

addendum

We promised ourselves that we wouldn't really edit, only correct, but sometimes I cringe when I see what I've written. Oh well, warts and all...

I realised that I haven't welcomed my oldest friend's little one into the world, she hasn't had a mention at all. I wanted to correct this and state that I am so happy that they had another little girl. She is very lucky to have such wonderful parents and sister. I wish that they didn't live on the other side of the world so that I could see them more often. I am very bad at keeping in touch because I want to cry every time we talk, and if I don't talk to my friend I can pretend that we live on the same continent.

I don't think I'm invading their privacy if I tell you about what happened to my friend's husband while he was out and about with their oldest child (who looks remarkably like him). A complete stranger came up to him and said 'Well you don't need to pay for a DNA test, do you?'. How Aussie.

ugly

I'm a bit bothered that we have so much stuff in the sidebars. While I like them individually, I don't like the look of them all together. What to lose? I quite like the flags, but the pixie is already getting on my nerves and Mr McMuffin is bothered by the graphics too. I think he's going a bit bonkers as he suggested the antidote to all the ugliness was a picture of us! No, no, no, I like our 50's couple, they look a bit like our parents when they were young and good looking.

Today I have been bored beyond belief. I had to attend training on the new database that's replacing our antique one over the Easter holiday. The 'trainers' are very nice, but are getting angry with us as we're going 'too fast'. I have been getting told off a lot for getting ahead of the schedule. I am not a genius, so if I'm finding it easy, then it really is easy. I would like to suggest to them that they are going too slow, but we get off early, and I don't want to lose this privilege. However it is so dull I have been tempted to end my own life by banging my head against the monitor, and even emailed a suicide note to my colleague. It would be slow and painful, but not as slow and painful as this course.

I feel bad now, my sister has just come round and told me some bad news about our friend's mother. I've changed my mind. I'm going to embrace this training, and the rest of my life.