hello.....again

Well after an early night, I have found myself unable to stay asleep. I never had any problems until the last year, and have discovered that the advice is right, don't stay in bed under these circumstances, get up. One night I did this and never did get back to sleep. Having got up, I just thought I'd check our emails and found some comments from the lovely Single Cookie and Norah. Thankyou for your comments, i may try the Benylin approach-If it aids sleep following what I assume to be a night of heavy chemical consuption, then who am I to argue?

I found Norah's comment quite thought provoking-it seems we both have flying fears quite unrelated to terrorist activity, but I wondered if some North Americans have now developed a fear of flying because of this. After the terrible shock of the enormity of what happened, the terrifying speculation about what shape Bush's retaliation might take and the very real sympathy for the victims of this attack, most of us got on with our lives.

Most people of my generation have parents who lived through World War II and we also grew up fearing nuclear annihilation (spelt right?) and were used to bomb threats and attacks by the IRA. We knew that bad things could happen as we went about our daily lives, but I felt the threat reduce from the time of the reunification of Germany until the collapse of the USSR. Following the 11th September the threat seemed to increase hugely, but the biggest threat seemed to me to come from the need for the USA to do something to appear strong and unafraid.

I remember a lot of conversations about how it might remove the USA from what was seen as increasingly isolationist foreign policy and connect them to the rest of the world-we don't live on different planets-I don't think that this did happen in the best way at all. I suppose what I'm rambling on about is that in that essentially British way, we just got on with it. Within a month of the attacks on the USA Gypsy Tart and I went to Prague and I don't remember being any more frightened of getting on the plane than usual. I have flown many times since then, and apart from idle speculation about whether my destination increases any risk of terrorist attack (eg Spain were pro war, so a flight between the UK and Spain would have the dubious distinction of hitting two birds with one stone) it hasn't felt any worse. I am quite worried about the idea of armed air marshalls. I hate the thought of anyone being armed, and hate seeing foreign police with guns, it does not make me feel safer at all. I can't really imagine what they might do in the event of a hijack. I think we all know now that we're probably not getting off the plane under these circumstances, so there's a strong motivation to fight back and not allow access to the cockpit. The idea that they blend with other passengers is a bit stupid, they're ex army and Police, right? What are they going to do as a disguise? Scuff their shoes and put long wigs on? It's not a good idea is it? fortunately for me, my fear of flying prevents me from going long haul, and I think transatlantic flights count, so it's not really an issue at the moment.

I am trying to focus on the positives of flying as a means to an end, after all I get to see Rome and spend time with my lovely friends (not you, Single Cookie, promise to look the other way if I see you with your beau on your romantic weekend). I may also see Pompeii with Ms Carrot Cake and Mr Rock Cake, if they're up for it. I am also a bit scared of volcanoes, especially after Gypsy Tart told me it was ready to blow again, and you don't get any warning with this one.

Anyway, am going to try to sleep again. Night all.