i had a strange experience today...

I went to see my psychotherapy supervisor today. I am a member of a small supervision group. The group started a couple of months ago, and this was the first time that everyone had attended the group at the same time. One of the people in the group is the spitting image of my friend. They look alike, sound alike, and what was even stranger, they had some of the same mannerisms too. I warmed to him immediately and he to me. I think part of what was going on had something to do with the fact that we are both Scottish. This never ceases to amaze me. Whenever I meet Scottish people we seem to share an immediate understanding about something that seems to be outside of my awareness. I guess you could call it culture. Over the years, and I have now been in England for 22 years, I have become aware that I share a common experience of being Scottish in England. Whenever, I meet other Scottish people our conversation inevitably turns to talking about the English and our experiences of being in England. The most notable thing that we all seem to have in common is the way in which we have had to alter the way we speak to fit in with the English. The Scottish, epecially urban Scottish, speak very fast, whereas the English, especially in the South, speak very slowly, although I am sure they do not realise this. I have lost track of the number of occasions when I first came down here that I have had to repeat myself over and over again to be understood. In fact, on one very memorable occasion, it still sticks in my mind even after 22 years, one very kind man said, "I can't understand a fucking word you're saying", and walked away from me.

The other experience that we have all had at one time or another, is to be accused of being aggressive. Now, I am happy to own the fact that on occasion, like everyone else, I can be aggressive, but this is different...What is being suggested is that we are all aggressive all of the time. Again, I think this has something to do with the differences in the way in which we speak. There is a certain, what can only be described as, bluntness in Scottish speech, which jarres with the English art of subtle understatement. I can only assume that it is this that is often confused with aggression.

It has been a long process for me, but I am slowly coming to the realisation that I am Scottish, and that this means that I am different from the English that surround me. I am very reluctant to mark my difference with flags and other Scottish tourist tat, but this difference is becoming important to me.